Mr Blatter, please don't ban the Vuvuzela!

Word on the streets is that FIFA is considering banning the Vuvuzela from stadia during the 2010 World Cup matches in South Africa? Apparently European television stations, and one Xavi Alonso, have complained that the Vuvuzela is "noisy".

One normally associates noise complaints with, say, sleepy neighbours angrily asking that you turn down the music at 01:37am on a Sunday morning. Or some nutcase blaring loud music through their inconspicuous white iPod headphones in a library, while you desperately try to swot for your Quantum Physics exam.

But complaining about noise in a 50,000 seater football stadium during a match is pushing it. Surely this is far within the borders of ridiculous! It is a football game for Pete's sake, not a convention for the Noise Abatement Society!

So what exactly is a Vuvuzela? This is a question worth answering to give perspective to its defense. Wikipedia describes it simply as an "air horn" which "emits a monotonous noise like a deep foghorn or an elephant".

Since a stadium is not exactly an opera house with an elegantly dressed conductor directing an orchestra, the collective tune of 50,000 Vuvuzelas from excited football fans generates an interesting dissonance. There is no rhythm. Instead, the tune is thoroughly disjointed and off-key, yet it impressively captures the massive euphoria of a football match in South Africa. The sound - the atmosphere - cannot be described, it can only be experienced, and nothing could represent the ebullient essence of South African football better.

As a matter of fact, in many ways the Vuvuzela has transcended the stands of the football grounds. It now actually represents the sound of joy, celebration and merriment in other spheres of hard working South Africans lives! I remember a number of years ago when a major accounting firm I worked for in Johannesburg won a very significant public sector contract, the serenity of the beautiful open plan office usually punctuated only by the sound of mouse clicks and a water fountain, was joyfully disrupted by the sound of a Vuvuzela! Clearly a call for celebration.

Some genius from the Corporate Finance department of that company even made it a point to signal big wins by filling up his lungs then expelling all 5 litres of its air into a yellow Vuvuzela, resulting in an awesome tune of a win! For that company, and I imagine many others too, the Vuvuzela was indeed the official sound of success!

Come to think of it, there is not a mass celebratory event in South Africa these days that does not include the distinctive sound of the Vuvuzela. From New Year celebrations to political rallies. The Vuvuzela was especially loudest on Saturday, 15 May 2004 - the day FIFA announced South Africa would host the 2010 World Cup. The soundtrack to the mass jubilation was the Vuvuzela!

Such irony, then, that FIFA would even consider banning it during 2010 World Cup matches.

Football without the Vuvuzela in South Africa can only be compared to, perhaps, cutting off hands at the wrists and expecting claps? Sep Blatter defended it best when he said, "It's noisy, it's energy, rhythm, music, dance, drums. This is Africa. We have to adapt a little."

I actually believe there are more distracting things on the pitch that footballers comfortably contend with all the time. Not least the abusive language from fans and for some especially in the English Premiere League, Petr Cech's loudly orange jersey!

If European TV stations and that Xavi Alonso really want "peace and quiet" during a football match, they should restrict their matches to the Cockfosters Benedictine Monastery ... during a laryngitis outbreak!